Conversations about friendships.

Hi Beautiful People,

I hope you had a productive week and for those of us who spent it in doors without stepping an inch outside, well I hope we push ourselves this weekend to get some natural fresh air haha :).

Ok, so sometime ago I posted a comment on my WhatsApp status about ‘Real friendships’ being hard to find if the focus is all about you, yourself and you. I am sure you understand what this means, a person who is selfish, and it’s always about what they want and what they can get. It was interesting to find out that a few people could relate to this, with the feeling of having people that just take from them. This people pretend like they care but won’t necessary be there for them when it is most needed. I am sure a lot more people would have experienced this within certain relationships.

Don’t get me wrong, I have made a lot of mistakes with friendships when I didn’t know better. I have lied just to get them off my back, I have been insensitive to their feeling’s, because I wanted it to be all about me. That’s why in addition to the comment I posted, I wrote ‘’I have learnt and still learning the importance of honesty, loyalty and real love. It took me time to understand what to expect from a real friend. I would accommodate friendships where we say we are close friends, invite each other to our private lives but it’s obvious that we hide certain information from each other because there is no trust. I began to notice signs such as when I needed relevant information or help regarding a Job etc, then their true identity reflects who they are.

At the time, I kept such friendships because it just meant that I would replicate their behaviour back to them, but as I grew older I realised that this was a waste of my energy. Keeping such friendships will lead to envy, jealousy, anger, dishonesty and competition. And realistically, why would I want to hold back information about a job, a product, or anything that will be of benefit to someone. The world is too big, and we can all shine in it. Am not suggesting as friends we have all the answers or solutions to solve their problems. For example, a friend who needs financial support and you cannot provide the exact amount, if you believe the person is genuine and you can support, then every little helps.

I am not near perfect and still growing, I have messed up significant friendships, so I know the impact of dishonestly and disloyalty. Someday, I will share how I messed up such great friendships.  However, with those experiences I learnt that having real friendships starts by asking yourself the question ‘Am I an example of a Real Friend’. If you can honestly say you are a real friend, however you are not getting that in return, then you should probably review your friendships. It’s important that we love and respect everyone but be mindful who is in your circle that uses the word ”close friend” but isn’t. I would rather use the word ”friend” knowing that I don’t have to be obliged to share personal things. But with the word close friends, then I have the responsibility to be honest, real and loyal to that friendship. I hope we all keep growing to become more intentional with our friendships.

xoxo bbbempower