Depressed, but I can’t speak.

Hey beautiful,

How has the lockdown been for you? Well honestly for me I got to the point where I just decided to make the best use of it. And trust me in this season, I have had my share of anxiety, but not so much of depression as I have experienced in the past. Honestly, not everyone wants to tell anyone that they are depressed and I can understand that. I myself for a very long time, will rather not tell anyone that I was depressed. I have had my share of what it means to be depressed and all I wanted to do was to hide in my bed covers all day, drained with negative thoughts, crying and wondering why me. of course, we all experience or react to depression definitely but either way, depression still brings a stronghold on us all.

For so many years, I didn’t see the point of telling anyone that I was depressed because I had a persona of wanting to be perceived as happy and everything was perfect. Trust me, if that happens to be you now my honest advice is that pretending like you got it all together isn’t worth it, because you actually miss out on good people who honestly can help you. But still, I am not suggesting that you tell everyone your issues but be discerning about who you talk to and this will highly depend on those you call friends and hang out with. I also did not want to be judged because, in some part of the world that I come from, the word depression can be a taboo. So, honestly keeping it to my self was just right for me at the time.

However, there is a downside to not speaking to anyone when you are depressed. What happens is you begin to look for things, people, and activities, to fill you up and make you better. And that’s why for some people food, sex, relationships, drugs, alcohol, and fraudulent ideas to get money etc becomes a means of comfort when depressed. Well, I am not a therapist or a medical expert but I can tell you what eventually worked for me, after I spent years finding comfort in the darkest places. Eventually, I had to speak to matured and trusted people, I read books, listened to YouTube channels, oh yes I love ‘Sarah Jakes Roberts’, spent time building my craft, and most importantly I had to build my faith and a close relationship with God in His Word and in Prayer.

Was this an easy walk No, is depression a thing of the past No, but guess what it’s not depression as I experienced it. Now when depression seems to raise its head, I can sense it from afar and I know what to do so it does not dwell into my space. Yea, this might sound churchy as they say but girl that’s my therapy, I begin to pray, I question why am feeling depressed, I listen to worship, I listen to faith-building messages, I speak to a friend and invite laughter into my atmosphere, I pick up my craft i.e drawing, designing, sewing and writing and guess what, it works.

To beat depression you have to be intentionally and committed to doing what works best for you. Also know that you are not alone and speak out for help or at least get on your knees and pray to the Father who knows and loves you best.

xoxo,

bbb empower