Hi Lovely People,
Yes, am back to finish the part 2 of Sex and its Battles. Although the issue of sex is an ongoing discussion and I definitely can not write all about its sweet and bitter consequences. In my last post, I ended by asking ”Are you suggesting to give up your virginity/purity for various reasons or currently having sex and want to stop and be whole again”. In order to have an understanding and a consistent flow of part 2, I suggest you read Sex and its Battles Part 1.
Sex creates a strong bond which results to a stronghold that can keep us from ending a relationship even when the other party decides not to continue with the relationship. This stronghold has been formed because we have shared a private and special part of our innermost self. And the only thing one can think of is to do all it takes to save the relationship. However, he his done and ready to move on but we are left hurt. I know we all handle hurtful relationships differently, especially the one that we have poured our all into. If you are like my past then you would be quick to move on but into another relationship and probably be making the same mistake of having sex with him again even when it wasn’t your intention. Gradually having sex, breaking up and moving onto the next relationship becomes a pattern and one slowly loses their confidence and self-worth without recognising the damage is causing within them.
This can also lead to losing their trust towards male relationships and then begin to question their sexuality. Eventually for some sex becomes a tool to distract them from problematic issues, money making machine, or a weapon used to manipulate and destroy a guy’s lifestyle. Some would go an extra length to use sex to destroy other peoples relationships and even marriages. Then it becomes an addiction and ends up sleeping with a huge number of guys, which wasn’t her lifestyle intentions. I have heard girls say but sex was between both parties so whats the big deal. That’s very true, but it’s funny when discussed amongst guys they analysis of the kind of woman they want as a wife or label responsible is a woman that has self-worth and hasn’t slept with a whole bunch of guys and for some a virgin is the ideal woman.Yes a Virgin, to some girls and guys been a Virgin is old school but ill say been a Virgin is a good choice and why not. It shows the level of self-control a person has because it sure takes a strong person to flee from sexual acts.
And since every guy demands respect they will appreciate a woman that other people can say good things about and not call her dirty names. Yes, this might sound controversial and your wondering but these same guys won’t date me without sex or they will then have sex with another girl. First and foremost what kind of guy are you wanting to be in a relationship with, is it one that has no self-control and doesn’t see sex as a big deal outside of marriage and doesn’t respects your decision. I think we need to question this, if we claim that we want a guy that loves God then I believe he should know that scripture says ”Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God, You do not belong to yourself” 1 Corinthians 6 vs 19. If he knows and believes this and you do as well, then its possible to be in a relationship that is sexually free.
Is it easy, not at all I had challenges, temptations, even days I wanted to give in especially because I had popped the cherry. But if two people not just one person but two agree to make this decision and have certain boundaries in place to avoid been tempted then when one is weak the other will be strong. And if both are weak then it’s important to have a backup plan like trusted friends or mentors you can be accountable to and most especially having a clear understanding why you have chosen not to have sex.
xoxo,
bbbempower