Feeling emotional as I write this, but it’s best to share it with you all. For many years I have felt like I couldn’t do so many things. I have heard people say things like my written English is not good, I can’t read so well, I can’t write and I can’t spell. Yes, I agree am not an English scholar. Also, they say my maths is bad. I am not good with technical subjects. I remember I used to hate reading because I was beaten for not getting it right. I will shy away from reading in the classroom so people will not laugh at me if I couldn’t pronounce a word. Even as I grew older, I will shy away from reading at bible study meetings when someone is asked to read.
This escalated into so many things, I believed everything took me much more effort to achieve because I was classed as not been so good at so many things. Any task I committed myself to will take me more time to study or practice as I studied so hard. I will cram the subject if I have to. I never really understood the concept of learning and understanding. All I wanted to do was succeed and be applauded for it. So I ignored the concept of learning and the essence of wanting to learn more. Maths was not it for me, not even numbers. Yes, I understand some of us are visual and creative, which I believe I am one of those. But all my years I have been forced and aligned to science subjects, which has been a struggle for me.For that reason, I had little or no knowledge or time to have enhanced my creative side.
For that reason, I had little or no knowledge or time to enhanced my creative side. Sometimes I feel lost and wonder if I will be able to master my craft as I am determined to start again. But lately, I have decided that I will lean not on my understandings and lean not on man, for these entire sources have failed me. But I lean to God who has created me in His image. And I say to myself I am not slow, I am smart, and I am good in reading and writing. I am good with numbers. I will do what I have to do no matter my age to succeed in this field. I have not been given the spirit of fear but of a sound mind. I am not inferior to other people. I will succeed in every area I choose to study, learn and commit my time to. Amen.
If you have experienced anything close or worse than I have. I want you to believe in the same why I have believed that no one or past negative words will hinder us from being what we want to be. The only one that can stop you, is if you believe in them and stop yourself.
Cheers to a better present and future.
xoxo bbbempower.